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(This was sent to Donna Musil, who is writer/director of the documentary: "Brats: Our Journey Home")

Donna,

My husband and I saw Brats: Our Journey Home. I had friends who experienced abuse and alcoholic parents while I was a Air Force dependent. I also had civilian friends with the same problems. I know our fathers' careers and ratings were based on their performance, our behavior and their wives' involvement and demeanor. However, I, being from the older generation (64 years old) feel the documentary painted everyone with the same brush and unfairly made it seem the norm.

Yes, moving was difficult. Yes, it was traumatic to leave my friends and boyfriends. Life is full of difficult situations and unhappy circumstances whether it is from military life or otherwise. I had expected a well-rounded look at military/dependent life, but this was very one-sided and, in my experience of living as a dependent for 12 years, focused on a minority of people instead of the average life.

The documentary touched so briefly, nearly unnoticed, on the important role of the military wife. How she had the primary responsibility for raising the children, making the arrangements for the move, closing down the house or quarters, packing and getting the family to wherever the husband/father had been sent. Usually, he was transferred a few months ahead and the family followed. My father was called back into service after WWII for Korea. We were sent to Tripoli, Libya. My father left months ahead, found quarters for us in Tripoli, while mother made arrangements to rent our stateside home, get all our shots, pack our household goods, get us to the east coast to fly MATS to Tripoli. We hadn't been out of Indiana before!!! The wives had to be logistics experts. We flew 26 hours on a C-47 with bucket seats. Mom, my sister and I were the only dependents on the plane. Mom played cards and talked with the airmen and GIs and my sister and I played games and slept on the mattress and blankets they had placed in the middle of the fuselage.

We lived in historical places. We saw what we were studying in geography. We played where wars had been fought and history made. We played with children from different countries and with different cultures and we learned so much about the world. We traveled throughout Europe, the Mediterranean, Central and South America. We saw the ancient ruins, the ruins from WWII, the poor, the ill-cared for, the heart of the people in the countries we lived. We learned compassion and learned to appreciate what we had. We lived in terrible conditions and wonderful conditions. We learned and lived a life few children experience.

Military schools were some of the best schools in the world. No matter where we were stationed in the United States we were able to step into a classroom and be ahead of or at the same level the other children were. We learned social skills more quickly in order to integrate into new communities.

Our fathers worked long hours and were patriotic, dedicated men who cared for their country and families. In my era, the men were mostly WWII veterans who had fought for our country and life style. They cared very much about their children and wives. I watched my parents and their friends get involved in foreign communities and make friends with the local people. They contributed to the welfare of the community. During that time they also had wonderful, fun parties and enjoyed their life. Dad had discussed with mom the alternatives of his being assigned overseas. He could go alone for 18 months or we could come with him for a 3 to 4 year tour. My mother said she had been separated from him for 4 years during WWII and that was the last time the family would be apart. Where he went, we all went and we would make the most of it and enjoy the experiences. Their parents and families thought they were crazy to take two little girls across the world, but that is exactly what we did.

My husband's father was stationed in Germany in 1949. My husband played with German boys in the rubble of the war torn country. He learned to give to those who needed help and saw what devastation war brings. We were both involved in the Marshall Plan where all American military families had to have a housekeeper from the local community in order to put money back into their economy. Most wives had never had help in their homes, didn't want a stranger in their homes, and didn't know what to do. In both our mother's cases, the housekeeper/nanny became a friend and member of our family.

My husband's mother died when he was 10. His father was reassigned from Kirtland AFB, NM to Burtonwood, England. It was assumed he would leave my husband and his sister with relatives in the States as military men didn't take motherless children overseas. His father informed his Commanding Officer that his children would either go with him or he would resign. Sgt. Ahlemann was told to attend the New Mother's course at the University of New Mexico and if he finished first in the class he could take his children anywhere. That is exactly what he did and the three of them headed for England.

So you see, there are many sides to this picture and they all need to be covered. It is a unique, exciting, educational, life. I have a much broader view of the world than many people who have never seen how other cultures live or worship. I adapt more easily to change and I overcome difficulties, tragedies, and losses because I am a survivor and have learned this is part of life. I feel I will always be able to stand on my own two feet and find my way out of a difficult situation and I tend to mostly look on the positive side. These may seem like failings to some people, but I call them strengths learned from the lifestyle I was so lucky to experience.

It seemed like many of the photos in the documentary were from the 50's, but the dependents focused on in the documentary were children from the Viet Nam era and later. That was a completely different time, war, and situation for dependents. This needs to be clarified and if you are going to continue doing these documentaries, perhaps it would be good to focus on certain timeframes. For example, things are completely different now. Families don't have to pick up and move like we did. Assignments may last many years and the children go to school with civilian children in the same area and graduate with them.

After the film, a couple sitting next to us in the theater said they were very upset. They were military parents and their children had thanked them for the opportunities they had as military dependents. Please get the full picture for each era and don't demean a lifestyle that has been very fulfilling to many adults and children.